A lot of times I wonder if this process is worth it.  I don't seem to be getting answers (or...answers that I deem acceptable lol).  And I worry that I'm opening a can of worms.  And I'm confused as to why things are going this way.  But I have to be aware that even if what I want to happen doesn't happen, there have been many blessings I've given and received along the way so I need to be grateful. 

Today I heard myself saying out loud "I can see it. I can see it." Even though in the physical I couldn't see it somewhere in my spirit I could see it.  That's faith!  The speaking out is the act of faith.  I spoke it into the atmosphere because I don't need to see a visual physical representation of something to see it.  The faith, the word that God gave me, His promise, that's all I need.  

Seeing is NOT believing.  Why?  I was reminded of this tonight.  I prayed based on what I believed the Spirit was telling me and then what I saw didn't line up with what I prayed but that's okay because I don't know everything that's going on.  I don't know what's going on in peoples' lives or minds.  I just have to believe that I heard the Spirit of God and prayed appropriately.  

Suddenly I'm reminded of what was said on Wednesday at the orientationthingy at Nyack - "You'll never know until eternity how much you've helped someone".  You can always choose to be afraid but you can always choose to trust in the abilities that God gives you.  It's not me, it's God in me and it's God in that person.  Who am I to judge?