Was reading the Word and I ran into Matthew 27:15-18.  And it hit me: What if Jesus had been released?  What if Pilate had said something differently or stood his ground and overruled the people?  What if he hadn't washed his hands of the Jesus situation?  Then later, Pilate's wife even tried to tell him to not give Jesus over to be crucified.  Again, he wouldn't listen.  Then later, the people were saying 'If you're the Son of God then deliver yourself' and what if He had?!  If HE had delivered Himself, if He had given up, if the Father had taken the cup from Him as requested. If things were different than I would NOT be alive today. I would not have been set free to love God. The veil would not be torn, I would still be behind it. I would be scared to approach God or I wouldn't even know how. Thank You Jesus for Your sacrifice.  Thank You God that You allowed the people to be hardened...Amazing...it confirms what You say in Your Word that You give Egypt for my ransom, Cush and Seba in my stead" (Isaiah 43).  So, you allowed the current people and even your Son to suffer because You loved me and those that were yet to come so much.  And I hesitate to say this because people may think: Well why would God kill people?  Or Why would God harden their hearts? So then they didn't have a choice? But, first of all, they did have a choice and they repeatedly chose to have Jesus crucified. And second of all, God is not us. We are not God. You create the universe, you create heaven and earth and even hell, you create people and cause weather to happen and THEN MAYBE we'll talk about what God should have done...except that you can't do any of that.  So why should you judge God?  Just thank Him for the opportunity because even if you don't believe Him you still have an opportunity to repent and believe.  The bible says in Romans 10: “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,”^d that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: 9That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 11As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”^e 12For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”^f

14How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”^g

Sometimes the only One who can/will make you feel beautiful is the only One that has seen you in your ugliest.  I'm told a lot that I'm beautiful/pretty.  And I am not very self-conscious of late...then they sometimes add about how I'm beautiful on the inside.  And I'm like: UMMM.... I know that I have a good heart and good intentions.  God always reminds me who I am but sometimes I just feel so ugly inside and I'm like: if you would know my thoughts or what's REALLY going on or if you saw those skeletons in the closet you'd be like: EW!  And nobody really sees that part of me so I can see why they call me beautiful but then GOD Himself will speak directly to me and tell me that I'm beautiful and it just blows me away!  Kuz, see, GOD is the ONLY ONE who sees all of that but HE is the ONLY ONE that makes me beautiful - in Him.  Through the Blood of the Lamb.  He doesn't see me in my sin, He sees me how He made me.  I am the work of His hands, His masterpiece...*sigh*.  I'm so undeserving but He's so merciful and I so appreciate that He loves me so much and reminds me who I am.  And I love that He'll even use my mistakes/sins to show me who I am - and not to just pound me over the head and tell me I'm awful.  On the contrary.  He's like: I still love you.  You're gonna get through this.  Your beauty is not based on outward things or even circumstances.  I have made you beautiful.  I make you beautiful.