God, You're So Sweet

Ahh how valuable and beautiful it is to be in God's presence and have a relationship with Him.  Yesterday i put my music on on the bus and God spoke to me about something...not gonna share right now kuz it's not the right time and right now it's between me and God...and then at night I was reading the Word and I actually was feeling a little blah and was hoping God would speak to me, reignite me.  Well all of a sudden as I'm reading I come across a scripture that was similar to what God had spoken to me in the morning.  It's like God was saying "I'm not finished with You yet.  Remember what I told you before, I want to continue our conversation.  Like, God is interested in me and interested in spending time with me and speaking to me.  So sweet.  Cant wait to see what else He has to say...<3  

So THERE You Were!

So many thoughts racing through my head

It makes me wanna scream!

I need closure!

But what I really need … is to draw closer.

I need You Lord.

I need You to scream the truth at me.

Make it loud and clear.

But though I can’t really hear You I know You’re still here.

You told me to stand on this mountain and here on this mountain I stand.

The wind comes and makes my heart cold.

And I don’t sense Your warm embrace today.

But God You promised to be with me when I was young and when I get old.

So I stand and wait for You.

The earth quakes.

It shakes and it shakes me and I almost fall but I’m waiting…

Waiting for Your call

Because You promised.

But…You’re not “here.”

Then comes the fire.

I’m burnin Lord and ragin’ and where are You?

See I expected You to just jump out at me. 

See I know You were in the wind when the Israelites were crossing the river.

And I know You split the rock and put Moses in there.

And I know You were with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego when they were in the fire.

So why are You not here with me now?

I scream accusations.

Like Hannah I keep on begging.

Like the persistent widow I won’t back down.

Like David I lament.

Like the Israelites I complain and moan and pout and cry…

And then…

It’s in the midst of this moment that I hear You.

Sometimes You speak loudest in a whisper.

Because when You whisper we have to silence ourselves.

So God help me silence myself

And hear from You.

For You’re a gentleman.

And You know me.

You know what I need and how to speak to me.

You don’t have to shout – the devil can hear you clear enough.

You don’t have to pound Your fists or stamp Your feet – You know I’ve had enough of chaos.

I am not Your enemy but Your lover.

You want to whisper sweet nothings in my ear.

Nothings that mean everything whenever I can hear.

So silence me Lord.

Be still my heart and take comfort.

Open my eyes that I can see Your provision.

Forgive me God kuz I’m so eager to hear…

And hear what I want to hear …

That sometimes I push it…

And I’m so expectant that I try to seek You in a particular place in a particular way

Maybe not realizing You’re seeking me and waiting to get MY attention.

Ahh…God…give me patience and help me not take matters into my own hands.

Now is a time I really need to wait on and trust in You…

Psalm 18:2

"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."  Tonight it suddenly clicked.  God is the answer to my prayers. THIS, this scripture, is the answer to my prayers.  As I climb this mountain and try to drag myself out of this pit I know it's really slippery and there are times I'm about to fall and I pray, in those times, that God just gives me something to hold on to.  I need some solid ground.  And I realize - God is that something to hold on to.  He is always extending a hand and helping me stand firm and keep climbing.  Every single time I'm about to give up - there He is.  The devil may have a foothold but God is my stronghold.  He may think he has me trapped but God is my deliverer.  


And I was thinking today, also, how the past is chasin me but if I stay on the narrow path, the road to righteousness, then it doesn't have to catch up to me!


God is offering me sure footing and a refuge and a safety and a way out....it's up to me to put my foot there....


I hope you can relate...

Rest Assured - Jesus is Coming

Ahh I love how the Word of God is applicable to me today :).  This morning I was reading in the book of John and got a glimpse of ME! lol.  

John 16:18 "They kept asking, "What does he mean by 'a little while? We don't understand what He's saying." hahahaha!  How many times have I asked that question?  Yes I literally laughed out loud.  And Jesus's response is awesome " Verse 19: "Jesus saw that they wanted to ask him about this, so he said to them, "Are you asking what I meant when I said, 'In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me?'" 
Yes Jesus! How'd You know? lol


And this is His loving and encouraging response. Verses 20-23 "Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name."


Honestly, I'm so tired of hearing "Your breakthrough is coming...soon..." Um...what does "soon" mean?  It makes me have a hard time trusting God between that and other things that I've been told will happen "soon" (His returning).  But His timing is different than mine and Acts 1:7-8 (one of my favorite scriptures) says: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. ⁸But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."  I don't know when it's coming but when I do, I'm not gonna remember the pain I had gone through - except if it benefits those to whom I will testify and minister to, and I will receive power and the Holy Spirit will speak to me and through me.  And looking back, I don't begrudgingly remember the pain of the things I've overcome - not in a way that I would be depressed about it because being depressed and regretting things will only stagnate and hinder me but once I've received my breakthroughs I am filled with such joy because it is what was birthed from a bad situation.  And babies are born for such a purpose and so were these trials that I've faced. 


So keeping that in perspective - the fact that eventually I'm not gonna remember or be stuck on all the crying I'm doing and the sweating and the fighting but will be overcome with the joy that it's over and that there is promise and potential to this newness, this newborn freedom - and the fact that JESUS KNOWS what I'm thinking and is willing to answer even before I ask Him directly - I'm just gonna keep it moving.  This is why I can still praise Him in my storm - when I keep my eyes on Him and my heart attuned to the promises He's given me, I know that it's gonna be worth it and that makes me wanna keep fighting!

God is with me...

Faith comes by hearing .. hearing the Word of God so I'm gonna "hear this" so faith will arise...


God protects me and helps me make decisions and gives me confidence.


The helmet of salvation helps me keep focus on fight the thoughts in my head.  All fear is gone when I remember God's love that has saved, sanctified and redeemed me.  I am saved so I am forgiven and a new creation and it's time I started thinking like Christ thinks about me because when I do then I evict the discouraging, disturbing thoughts that try to exalt themselves above the knowledge of Christ.


The breastplate of righteousness reminds me that I am loved and dearly prized and that even if I make a mistake I can come to God holy and pure and blameless.  Not because of what I've done but because of what Christ did for me.  He loves me with an everlasting love and with a love that is not determined by what I do or don't do.


The belt of truth helps me discern the lies.  A life centered on Christ is a balanced life so His truth keeps me stable.  Jesus is what's keeping me together right now.


The shoes of peace will direct my path and keep me safe wherever I go and make sure I stay on the right track and if I mess up it will gently put me back on solid ground and right position and direction.


The shield of faith kicks the devil to the curb.  It delivers me from demons of fear...sends the fears to the pigs and the pits of the sea where they belong.


And the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God fights for me and keeps the enemy at bay.  The devil can't be in the presence of God so when I get in the presence of God - when I abide in His Word the devil can't even think to attack me.  


God is my fortress and my very present help in time of need.  Well God, I need You right now...I expect that You're gonna show up and because You're gonna show up I'm gonna try my best to do what's right.........even though it's hard, it's so not worth it to take the easy way out..........it doesn't even help, it doesn't last but Your Word endures....thanks in advance....<3

So glad I took a step of faith....

Lately I've been crying out to God, seeking Him and asking Him for help. But if you ask God for help, you'd better be ready to receive it. If you ask God for open heavens, be prepared to walk in!  So, one thing I've been praying lately is some deep healing that only He can do.  Every time there's an altar call though, I haven't gone up.  I keep trying to make excuses for why I shouldn't go get prayed for.  Finally today God practically pushed me up there lol (gently though, ya know?) and I found myself one minute arguing with God and compromising and the next minute walking up front...

I began to pray for myself.  I prayed that God would see this as an act of faith and honor that and continue the work of healing in my life (because I know He's been doing a great work in me).  I had been wanting for awhile now for someone to pray for me (I know people pray for me but it's sometimes good to have someone physically there) but I never allowed anyone too.  I finally trusted that God was gonna move on my behalf if I went up there.  I know that this kind of healing that I need is not an overnight thing so I didn't think I should but I definitely needed strength to continue the journey.  So I went up and I was praying that if it was His will that He would speak to me through someone or even just in my time by myself with Him.  But He did send me someone.  He sent me my beloved Pastor Blanca.  I had, in my heart, asked God that if the person He would send was from Him that he or she would give confirmation to things I was praying and receiving or a word that I needed to hear that was on point with my specific need.  Another reason I hadn't wanted to go up is because I'm tired of people acting in the flesh.  Sometimes people can mean well and especially if they "know" us they can pray what they think we need but it may not be accurate.

But this was not so today.  Pastor Blanca gave a word of wisdom and also prayed for the very things I needed prayer for.  I felt at peace and strengthened and knew that God was healing me as I was up there and I know He heard my prayer, saw my faith, and saw/heard everything I've been going thru lately and is going to continue to be there for me and see me through. <3

VALUABLE

John 10:10 says that the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy.  Think about it - if the devil is coming to steal from you and kill and destroy you there must be something he sees in you that is worth robbing and ruining.  A burglar knows exactly what he's going for.  He goes straight for the good stuff.  And he goes to the houses that he thinks will be easy to crack open and goes after the possessions that are just lying around unprotected.  Thieves are usually too lazy to look through drawers and stuff (well sometimes they do...but usually...)...they wanna go in and out because they know if they stay for too long and they make too much noise they'll attract attention to themselves and get busted.

Well....

2nd Timothy 1:14 instructs us to: "Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you--guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us."  I know God has entrusted me with an awesome deposit.  Only you know what that deposit is for you.  That's salvation but it's also something more - it's your testimony.  It's your deliverance.  It's your healing.  It's your wisdom.  Whatever God has given you, guard it with all your heart and don't let the devil get a foothold via open doors.  We have authority to bind the strong man (Matthew 18:18 and Mark 3:27) and steal his possessions back.  The Holy Spirit helps us.  Jesus helps us.  God helps us.  I know that the way I received my "deposit" was by being like Mary and allowing myself to be at Jesus feet.  So often it's been in the times of desperation and surrender and worship with complete abandon and an attitude that I'm going to stay here and press in til I receive my blessing, that I've received my greatest deposits.  And those are the things that the devil is trying to steal.  But you know what...being like Mary I can claim the promise that God gave her in the book of Luke, chapter 10, verse 42: "Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."  

I have valuable deposits in me...little roses just waiting to blossom, oysters getting ready to produce pearls and I have to keep in mind that I am marked by God and I belong to God and He belongs to me and nothing is going to separate me and God (Romans 8:35-38) and nothing is going to take that away what He has given me!!

Ahh...I love when God speaks through the lies :) 

Night night.