Am I really worth more than this?
Then why don't many people value me?
And don't tell me it's because I don't value myself
Because I'm learning.
But people still treat me wrong.
And don't tell me it's how I carry myself
Because I know how to be confident
And beautiful and sexy.

Just how valuable am I?
More than two sparrows?
What are sparrows worth?
So just what ARE sparrows?
They're so little
And they have cute squeaky little voices.
Some say they don't contribute much to society 
And that they don't have much to give back for what's been given them.
But You created them
And You love them
And without any expectations You feed and clothe and protect them
Hmm...sounds like the relationship You have with me.

Just how much am I worth?
A life?
Of your family?
Of nations in my stead?
Before I was even born because You saw me then, today?
And You gave me a chance at tomorrow.
Wow. Now that's love.

Lord, God, Holy Spirit . . . 
No one on this earth could love me more than You do 
So I settle for whatever I can find - 
For people who may love me one day and abuse me the next?
Who treat me like a princess and then like a slave?
Who miss me who miss me who can't wait to see me and then they forget I exist?
I can't have the best so I settle for less and I don't question it
But maybe I sell myself too short?

Illustrations

Two illustrations that God showed me today:

1- I heated up soup and it was really hot and yet I still kinda put my tongue on it. I knew it was gonna be hot / potentially burn me but I was like: instant gratification lol. I see this applies to other things too (ie: sin).  

2 - I was watching my dad play Angry Birds & he put the bird in the slingshot and pulled the slingshot back and then it launched the bird forward. Sometimes, we no we are about to be launched and we feel guilty when we feel like we've gone backwards but when something gets shot out of the slingshot / the bow, it goes back before going forward.  We need discernment to know whether we truly are going back (and it's our sinful nature / fault) or if we are just getting ready for God to launch us into our destiny.

<3

Amazing how God just showers His love on me.  Just to give a few examples from today:

- I was walking to church and my feet were so hurting and uncomfortable.  For some reason my boots just did not feel right today and I kept tripping and I was getting really annoyed.  As I was walking I was like, "God I dont know how I'm gonna get home with these boots."  I kinda forgot about them and was even running around with a little girl (in fact even how I got to be there was a whole other story, another miracle from God) but then I took them off so I could run faster lol and all of a sudden someone comes and says "hey I want you to try these boots on for me to see if they fit you."  I'm thinking, "this is weird."  I had forgotten that my feet were bothering me lol.  And there was someone else there but she didn't like boots.  I tried them on and they were actually a great fit.  Nice and cozy.  The LORD literally gave me a new pair of boots.  He saw my need and He provided.  Amazing.  

- A little while before I got my new boots, I was hanging around.  I had just gotten there (we were in the lower level of the church) and I wasn't sure how long I was going to stay - I was hungry.  All of a sudden, my Pastora came with pastelillos and asked if I had had one, which I hadn't because I'm trying to save money and I thought I'd be home soon but I was really hungry.  She didn't know that but she asked and I said no and she ended up giving me one.  It was really good too :) CHICKEN!  I've never had a chicken pastelillo.  And it filled me up which was great because I ended up just getting home a little while ago.  

And I just pray for all of you that you would begin to experience the favor of God and that you would give Him glory when He takes care of you.  Look for the little ways as well as the big ways that He showers you. He loves you and so do I!

Be encouraged!

God is awesome.  Even the "little things" are "miraculous" to me.  Like this morning I was wondering what to eat for breakfast and I kinda had a craving for waffles.  I haven't had them in ages!  I look in the freezer and there happened to be ONE waffle left!!!  I didn't even know it was there!  I heated it up, put some syrup on and guess what that one blueberry waffle filled me up until lunch time!!!  Incredible!!!  I thank You God for these "little things" that just make my day.  Truly this was a butterfly kiss from the Father to His little girl :,) <3

Was reading the Word and I ran into Matthew 27:15-18.  And it hit me: What if Jesus had been released?  What if Pilate had said something differently or stood his ground and overruled the people?  What if he hadn't washed his hands of the Jesus situation?  Then later, Pilate's wife even tried to tell him to not give Jesus over to be crucified.  Again, he wouldn't listen.  Then later, the people were saying 'If you're the Son of God then deliver yourself' and what if He had?!  If HE had delivered Himself, if He had given up, if the Father had taken the cup from Him as requested. If things were different than I would NOT be alive today. I would not have been set free to love God. The veil would not be torn, I would still be behind it. I would be scared to approach God or I wouldn't even know how. Thank You Jesus for Your sacrifice.  Thank You God that You allowed the people to be hardened...Amazing...it confirms what You say in Your Word that You give Egypt for my ransom, Cush and Seba in my stead" (Isaiah 43).  So, you allowed the current people and even your Son to suffer because You loved me and those that were yet to come so much.  And I hesitate to say this because people may think: Well why would God kill people?  Or Why would God harden their hearts? So then they didn't have a choice? But, first of all, they did have a choice and they repeatedly chose to have Jesus crucified. And second of all, God is not us. We are not God. You create the universe, you create heaven and earth and even hell, you create people and cause weather to happen and THEN MAYBE we'll talk about what God should have done...except that you can't do any of that.  So why should you judge God?  Just thank Him for the opportunity because even if you don't believe Him you still have an opportunity to repent and believe.  The bible says in Romans 10: “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,”^d that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: 9That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 11As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”^e 12For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”^f

14How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”^g

Sometimes the only One who can/will make you feel beautiful is the only One that has seen you in your ugliest.  I'm told a lot that I'm beautiful/pretty.  And I am not very self-conscious of late...then they sometimes add about how I'm beautiful on the inside.  And I'm like: UMMM.... I know that I have a good heart and good intentions.  God always reminds me who I am but sometimes I just feel so ugly inside and I'm like: if you would know my thoughts or what's REALLY going on or if you saw those skeletons in the closet you'd be like: EW!  And nobody really sees that part of me so I can see why they call me beautiful but then GOD Himself will speak directly to me and tell me that I'm beautiful and it just blows me away!  Kuz, see, GOD is the ONLY ONE who sees all of that but HE is the ONLY ONE that makes me beautiful - in Him.  Through the Blood of the Lamb.  He doesn't see me in my sin, He sees me how He made me.  I am the work of His hands, His masterpiece...*sigh*.  I'm so undeserving but He's so merciful and I so appreciate that He loves me so much and reminds me who I am.  And I love that He'll even use my mistakes/sins to show me who I am - and not to just pound me over the head and tell me I'm awful.  On the contrary.  He's like: I still love you.  You're gonna get through this.  Your beauty is not based on outward things or even circumstances.  I have made you beautiful.  I make you beautiful.

Why do we think that sin draws us away from God. Well, actually, it can lead us away but let me put it another way. Why do we think that sin causes God to stop loving us? Jesus died for my sins so when I think about my sin I should immediately see the cross and realize how much He loves me.  That's the ONLY reason He would've gone to the cross for me.  Because He loved me.  Kuz I didn't deserve it.  And He didn't deserve to die.  I should've been the one to be crucified and He knew that and He stepped in because He loved me and He took away the dirt and shame and guilt...I just need to really receive that......