Voice

Sometimes something happens and it makes us just wanna cry...but we hold it inside. Sometimes we're filled with so much joy but we have to stifle that laugh because it's just not the right time or place.  Sometimes, like Mary we hold so much in our hearts.  We bury the blessings of God somewhere deep down there.  Where is THERE?  Just think about that for a moment.  Hold that thought.  Now I have another question:

What act does the devil try to prevent you from doing most times?

Do you ever feel a heaviness on your chest, a weight on your shoulders and you just don't know what to?

Well what I've learned, and was reminded of tonight, is that there is soooo much emotion in me. Sorrow, pain, joy, love.  Sometimes I feel so numb and empty but it's really that there's a build up of emotion.  I know the devil tries to stop me from opening my mouth.  He knows there is power in the name of Jesus.  He knows that when God's people cry out, He hears them.  But I know it too.  The name "Judah" in the Bible means worship.  Judah's offspring was called "Perez."  Perez mean's breakthrough.  There are many ways to worship but for this blog I will talk mostly about worship through voice because I know that's where the anointing lies for me.  


Tonight, the first thing we were told to do was to let out a "cry" (a scream).  All I did was open my mouth, take a breath and say "ahhhhh" and I felt like I was going to really cry lol.  As soon as I opened my mouth I felt the emotions begin to be released.  As I laughed for the next exercise, I started feeling bubbly - pure joy.  As I practiced my breathing I was also aware of some particular emotion(s).  As I practiced the different types of voices and figured out what I can do with the physical insides of my body I also tapped into what I can do when my spirit cries out via worship.  


I can literally feel deliverance taking place when I worship as well as when I present my poems, and even sometimes when I share my testimony. 


So when you notice a pressure upon your lips, pray that you would begin to feel more pressure from your stomach and that from that place, living water would spew out of you.  Even if all you say is "yessssss" or "noooooo" or "JESSSSSSSUUUUUUUUSSSSSS" or "helppppppp" or "aaaaaaahhhhh".  Trust me, trust God, it will make an impact. 

Praise Report

I gotta give God the praise. Always. A few reasons in particular:

1) I thank God for choir.  For one because something amazing happens when I get in the presence of God and worship and it's a blessing and an honor to be able to do that in public.  The more I think about the implications of it, the more it means to me. Aww :,)  Second because God uses the songs to confirm things over my life.  Finally, because I have made some beautiful connections with people there.  

2) I gotta say that through all of this God keeps showing me He is with me and giving me strength.  And He's showing I can trust Him.  I need to work on that one but He keeps showing Himself faithful.  

3) I'm glad I can be honest with God and He accepts me and heals and reveals.

4) I'm glad that when no one else seems to be there, God is there!  When people reject me or push me away or are too busy, I can always turn to God and He gladly welcomes me and pays attention and gives me advice and lets me cry in His arms. <3

5) I've learned that a soldier on the battlefield can't always see who's behind his back because he's/she's not focusing on who's around her/him but the war that's in front of her/him.  But it doesn't mean no one's there.  She/he just has to trust that there are people and angels surrounding her/him.  I've come to realize that I do have a great support system.  All I have to do is look.  Sometimes I'll take a break from fighting to make sure my troops are with me and ask for assistance.  But in the times when I can't, I can trust that they're there. And sometimes, I'll hear a shout in my ear, or feel a tap on my back and I look and realize I'm covered.  Elijah prayed that God would open his servant's eyes to see and the servant could see the horses and chariots of fire.  Thank You JESUS for opening up my eyes to see that people and GOD and the ANGELS have my back. <3

"Fear of man will be a stumbling block"

My thing is...I'm afraid to do things for God sometimes because I don't want to be seen. But God's been showing me that's not true humility. That's looking to others not to God and not trusting that God sees my heart. Meanwhile, while I'm sitting on the sidelines praying quietly to myself, keeping my pain hidden, interceding for someone, wishing I would have the courage, praying someone else would do it, waiting for a "sign", other people are missing out on their breakthrough. People are "dying" because I am too scared to say anything. Meanwhile, when I do make that effort, people aren't talking bad about me or judging me; they're being blessed. First of all they probably aren't even looking at me because really they shouldn't because it's not about me but it's about God. But if they do notice when I do something for God, most of the time they're glad to see me step out and if they're not and they choose to judge or talk, I wouldn't know about it and I don't need to and God will deal with it and defend me. But I'm learning that because the things I do, I do after much prayer and seeking God and under the power and authority of God (yes I dare to say that. If i'm wrong God will convict me but I have to have confidence that I am doing the right thing. yes I know the voice of God and that's the voice I listen to), people probably really aren't judging or talking. 

Well I'm glad for the steps that I took today. Even though I was afraid I stayed in that position and place where God wanted me and knew that if He really wanted me there He would show me why and if not He would forgive me and make a way for me to take care of what I had to take care of after service (which I actually didn't get to but that's ok. It has to has to has to be God's timing.......).  And...lo and behold...I think I did what I had to do. I hope and pray I didn't fail to do something that I should've done and that what I said and did was exactly as God would've planned it and that it fell on good soil. And even if I made a mistake and wasn't perfect, I'm believing that God will redeem that and someone else will do what I failed to do or maybe I'll get another chance.