My thing is...I'm afraid to do things for God sometimes because I don't want to be seen. But God's been showing me that's not true humility. That's looking to others not to God and not trusting that God sees my heart. Meanwhile, while I'm sitting on the sidelines praying quietly to myself, keeping my pain hidden, interceding for someone, wishing I would have the courage, praying someone else would do it, waiting for a "sign", other people are missing out on their breakthrough. People are "dying" because I am too scared to say anything. Meanwhile, when I do make that effort, people aren't talking bad about me or judging me; they're being blessed. First of all they probably aren't even looking at me because really they shouldn't because it's not about me but it's about God. But if they do notice when I do something for God, most of the time they're glad to see me step out and if they're not and they choose to judge or talk, I wouldn't know about it and I don't need to and God will deal with it and defend me. But I'm learning that because the things I do, I do after much prayer and seeking God and under the power and authority of God (yes I dare to say that. If i'm wrong God will convict me but I have to have confidence that I am doing the right thing. yes I know the voice of God and that's the voice I listen to), people probably really aren't judging or talking.
Well I'm glad for the steps that I took today. Even though I was afraid I stayed in that position and place where God wanted me and knew that if He really wanted me there He would show me why and if not He would forgive me and make a way for me to take care of what I had to take care of after service (which I actually didn't get to but that's ok. It has to has to has to be God's timing.......). And...lo and behold...I think I did what I had to do. I hope and pray I didn't fail to do something that I should've done and that what I said and did was exactly as God would've planned it and that it fell on good soil. And even if I made a mistake and wasn't perfect, I'm believing that God will redeem that and someone else will do what I failed to do or maybe I'll get another chance.
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