New (Part 1)

This is going to probably take two blogs.  So much has been going on lately but I have to give God the praise and I want to share it here so someone could maybe be encouraged.

For starters, I have to say that God has been restoring me.  And it's funny that I'm saying that because I was just crying out for Him to restore me in some particular area(s) but I thank Him because there are things I never thought I would be healed from and things I never thought I could conquer but little by little.....


I thank Him for these tests.  It seems like it's been a serious testing period for me but I'm learning oh so much.  I'm seeing the fact that in order to be restored you have to go through the same thing again sometimes.  It's like...I've failed a bunch of "tests" but I thank God that in His mercy He has sustained me and allowed me to retake them.  And now I guess I'm in the phase of retaking the tests.  The parts that I still mess up on, He's allowing me to see where my heart still needs to be healed or where I need to still surrender and trust Him.  And then there are parts which I finally have begun to pass and He tells me He's proud of me and allows me to be proud of myself.  And either way He's showing me how much He loves me: unconditionally.


I thank Him because there are relationships that I thought would never be the same but some of them are like back to normal.  It's so so beautiful.  


I thank Him because He's been showing me my purpose and my passion and so specifically but at the same time, in His grace, mercy and wisdom He is showing me how to take it nice and slow.  And He's giving me peace about it.  He's giving me peace about the process and I'm able to enjoy and learn from even that.  


I know that I've changed a lot.

I'm really seeking and desiring Him like never before.  I'm getting stronger.  I'm walking into my destiny.  I'm getting up quicker when I fall.  I'm really feelin this lol.  I can't really explain it (it would take too long) but these are the things that I hold in my spirit and I have to think about from time to time (or often...).  


Never would I have imagined four years ago that I would be where I'm at now and I thank GOD that HE has brought me this far.