Been meaning to write this since Labor Day weekend but I haven't forgotten how amazing it was and what a learning experience to be grateful for. So here goes....
The weekend started off with a barbecue on Friday night. We had a lot of people over my house. It was the first time I mixed my church friends with my family and my family friends and work friends. Not that I'm ashamed of any of these particular groups but I just don't always know who will feel uncomfortable around whom. But I trusted - I prayed and had peace - that it would turn out fine. Several of my friends, from various places came. Early on a friend of mine had an emergency. I felt so sad for her and concerned but it was a blessing to be able to be there for her. I'm glad whenever I can be a shoulder to cry on for someone. I didn't know what to pray for or how to handle the situation but sometimes all you can do is hold someone and be the arms of God for them. So that's what I did and sent up some prayers and informed a few people too. I did all I could but I was glad it was something. And very shortly I saw the miracle that God did and is doing in that situation.
I went to bed very late but had to get up very early to go meet up with friends for my friend's birthday party. We were going to a waterpark in Jersey. Thank God my brother, at one point, said I should go to bed and he and my sister would finish cleaning up so I could get some sleep kuz I needed to get up early. It was so considerate of him! Several things happened - a few problems in us being able to get there, including car troubles. But my friend was calm the whole time!!! This blessed me so much. It was such an inspiration and I had peace and we actually had fun even in the difficult situation. There were a few awkard moments too but God saw me through and gave me peace and joy. I had a great time. And, a major major victory for me (yes I said major twice) is that I wore a bathing suit for the first time in YEARS!!! I felt a lil self-conscious for a little bit but after a while I didnt care anymore and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Even on the scary rides. That was another thing - I faced a few of my fears but still knew my limits as well and didnt push myself just to fit in. And I got home in time to hang out with my sister and brother and some other people.
Then, again, I had to get up early because my brother and I were going to Pennsylvania to see our parents. Sunday morning I woke up and decided instead of going to church I was going to have church in my house (because I wasnt sure what time we were leaving). I had plenty of time to get ready and had a beautiful time with the Lord. Just me and Him in my house. I even had a time of worship wherein I stood up and lifted my hands. My room became transformed and so was I! After "church" I was about to get really upset about something and as I felt the anger and anxiety rising I prayed (and tweeted) and instantly the situation was resolved. God truly was my "very present help in time of need". We made it to Pennyslvania safely which was a blessing because my bro had been having car trouble recently. I learned something too - how one thought can send me spiraling in a very bad direction and make me even physically sick. Thoughts can really contaminate you. This is something God's really been stressing to me lately. I really need to work on it. But I digress...
We got up to PA with no traffic whatsoever and were greeted by my mom with camera in hand and dad and dogs :) <3. No greater way to start a mini-vacation. My dad had put the canoe on the car ahead of time because he knew I wanted to go canoeing. We sat around reuniting and chatting for a bit and then we went to the creek I think or the lake - not really sure. But it was too muddy. But we didn't give up. We went to this huge beautiful lake. My mom got in the back of the boat. I got in front - backwards!! Then my dad pushed us off and we started floating on the water. And we were OFFFF!! And the current was taking us and it was a lil scary but it was a great trust exercise. My mom had to trust that she could steer. I had to trust that I could "steer" or at least paddle. It was so much fun too though besides being scary at times. It was so liberating to be out on the water just me and my mom (and the others bigger boats lol). It was kinda quiet too. And my dad and brother were pretty much right there, on the shore, so if anything they could've saved us. But I just had a lot of peace about it. But even in the nervousness I had for a little while it was a fun kinda nervous. It was like "oh crap we're gonna flip over!" but in a fun way lolol. (ahh you had to be there). Then we had a nice dinner and hung out for a bit more including playing family feud online and just relaxing. Also nice was the fact that my mom sat on the swinging bench wit me. Sometimes I miss being physically near to my parents. I felt so safe and peaceful and happy knowing that she was next to me. I dunno...
Then we went home with mom and two of the dogs.
Monday I did homework in the morning and in the afternoon went to work for several hours. It was great!
I've been dealing with some anxiety lately and that weekend I was also anxious but I know that God is with me and working on me and therefore I can still be blessed. My eyes are open - now it's time to open my heart. But just because I'm in a "situation" doesnt mean I cant praise my God. It's a battle. It's a decision.
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